Cummin' Motha F!@#N' Rainbows
ivyceziel. October 16. Seventeen. Freshman in College. 100% Filipino.
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Daniella’s family,

I don’t even know if I should write about this or not, lol.

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Random people,

I keep dreaming about random people…

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Weird ass dream,

I don’t really want to go into detail.. because I honestly don’t remember much. Anyways, in the beginning I was taking shots because I was sad af. Then I slept at some girl’s house which that girl was effy, and like this nigga drugged me. And I woke up in the morning feeling like shit. And my nose was bleeding while I was in the bathroom. My eyes were bloodshot red. And the cops came and blah blah blah. And my step mom was calling me and I was yelling at effy because she drugged me. She injected me with motha fucking drugs. Like… whut? not cool yo.

Whoa dere,

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What the fuck, I was on some inception shit

So I don’t remember much because I legit just woke up/ But I had a dream I was with Daniella, Satterwhite, Denise, and Hoa. We were supposedly at school or something. But I had a dream within a dream…. Which was fucking trippy af. Uh, in the other dream I had a dream my nose kept bleeding and my mouth, then my tooth fell out. Sabrina so me like dying. And her tooth fell out too. And I remember crying about it. Because teeth falling out meant someone died or something. Then I “woke up in my dream” and had a dream me, Daniella, Denise, and Hoa had some AP test to do together. And Lauren was there.It was weird as shit. Lauren was trying to explain to me how hard the test was. Then I told Daniella that I thought her a NIck looked cute but I don’t like Nick so no. Then Richard was in my dream and like he disappeared… lol. Idk. Then I saw Paloma and Roxy and Tuyen. Uh the last thing I remember is Nick calling Roxy or something. Then I realized I was dreaming and I wrote this with my eyes closed so if there’s typos that’s why.

I keep forgetting to write down my damn dreams,

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I had the weirdest dream.

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I haven’t been writting my dreams down lately…

I don’t remember much about any of the weird dreams I’ve been having recently.  But I remember one where I was having a heart attack. Another one was I was driving and I got into a horrible accident. And another one was I was drowning. There’s a lot of dreams that I’ve been talking to people. People I know. People I knew. People I’ve never even met. Depending who I was talking too. It was different for each. If I knew or know them, I’d talk about things I’ve wanted to tell them. If I didn’t know who I was talking too. I kind of just vented to them. Like every detail of my life just poured into a cup for them or some shit. Idk. I have weird dreams that I don’t understand.

I had the most randomest dreams…

So like I remember going to a zoo, and the cashier person or whatever gave me his number on my receipt. Then I got a scoop of peanut butter and I rubbed my eye and my eye got cut and started bleeding like crazy. And yeah, that’s all I can remember… because I forgot to write them down…

Weird ass dream…

I had a dream that I was some guy.

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In the beginning, me and my family were going on a trip. At first we were at a water park. I felt like we were at Hawaii or the Carribean. We were visiting some of my stepmom’s relatives from Canada. We were talking about how I graduated and about my photography and singing. I’ve never seen my parents so proud of me. And then we drove to see some other relative. But this time, it was my dads. He lived on an island resort. When we were talking we talked about the same thing that we talked about with the other relatives. But this time, Frank Ocean was highlighted. My family kept asking me if Frank Ocean was my favorite artist. I said yes. Then we talked about how there was a tsunami named Frank Ocean that ruined my uncles shop. And they all look devastated. After we all went for a swim. We were in the ocean. Oh, my dads relative lived in the middle of the ocean. But he wasn’t too far from the beach. We were having fun, laughing and what not. I stayed really close to the windows of the house. I started remembering the island themed water park as I looked towards the beach. And then I saw a shark fin… Then I saw more. I yelled “WE’RE SURROUNDED. EVERYONE GET INSIDE THE HOUSE! THERE’S SHARKS!” I got inside the house through the window. I saw my dad and my step mom an my uncle. I tried helping them through the window. My step mom got bit in the leg. I told her to not let go of the edge of the window. I left her to get something to hit the shark with. As I looked inside, I saw Adriane, Kate, and a younger version of Ashley come inside through the door. I told them to close everything but the window I was trying to pull our parents through. I got a lamp, and I hit the shark with it so he would let go of my step mom’s leg. It was too late, he already bit it off. I pulled my step mom up. And while my dad and uncle were trying to get up, I punched and hit at the sharks. We closed all the doors and windows. This house was actually pretty small. All my siblings in this dream were really young, like 7 or something. Adriane kept saying “those are huge sharks!” The sharks in my dreams were smart. They broke the bottom brace of the house, and we started drifting. And we slightly sank. I can see the sharks surrounding us. I kept telling everyone to rock the house so we could rock towards the beach. It worked. I helped everyone out. I had to break the screen for the window in order to do so. I made sure no one else got bit. And then we went ashore, but the water was at high tide. And the sharks followed us somehow. We went through this weird passage with gates. The sharks were under the house. It looks like they got stuck in a cage. So we ran away towards this huge building. We kind of beat up and killed the sharks. They were able to kind of crawl or squirm on land. My little sister Ashley ran in back towards the sharks. The sharks were trying to get back to the water. But then they saw Ashley and started crawling towards her. I yelled “ASHLEY NO! COME BACK”. She saw the danger she was in, and tried crawling into the cage that was under the house. But there was still some sharks in there. I ran, I picked her up. And I ran towards the building. I said “Why did you do that? That was so dangerous! Do you want to die?” And me and her started crying and she said “I’m sorry. I’m still a little kid though, you have to understand.” And I told her, “I’m sorry, sometimes I forget how old you really are”. And we walked up the stairs to the building. I oddly saw a lot of people from our school. But I mostly remember specifically Tyrone. Giving me those weird looks he usually does. And then I woke up.

Whoa o_o

So I took a little nap this morning… And I had the most intense sex dream about Melanie. I woke up drooling a little, lmao. The setting was my room. We were talking on my bed. I don’t remember what we were talking about anymore. We were taking pictures on my phone. And Mel laid on me. Like, we were just cuddling I guess. And then of course I made the first move. But, I believe I did everything to Melanie. I kissed her, then I kissed her neck, moved down to her perf breasts, moved down and ate her out, kissed her some more. Melanie just kept moaning and telling me she liked it or how she wanted it, how Devin did it…. Lol. After we kind of just cuddled, all naked and what not. It was nice. Melanie kissed me, then kissed my chin, then my neck, and I just held her. I told her “I love you, and I’m sorry I haven’t been paying much attention to you lately. It just feels like a lot has changed. But I promise I’m always here, and I will never let you go.” She looked at me and said “I love you too Ivy. And it’s fine.”

I kind of haven’t been really talking I Melanie as much. And so what I said in the dream was oddly how I really felt. I felt like Melanie and I, have changed a lot. I felt like we haven’t had time for each other. Sometimes I think Mel just hates me. But I really want to fix it. I miss having to be able to text her all the time, and someone to oovoo when I wanted to jam or just talk. I just really miss Melanie.


I’ve been dreaming about people who I rarely talk to lately. And like this time, I had a dream about Guilia. Like wht the fck? I haven’t talked to this girl in months. Anyways, the dream isn’t as intense as the goddamn sex dream I had of Rayne. Okay…
Anyways, in the dream I was either in Brazil or France. Idk, but the weather was really nice. And the place I was at was beautiful. Okay, so supposedly me and Guilia were like madly in love. But in the dream all we did was talk. I was telling her I had to move away. She told me she’d miss me. We were both just crying. And we were reminiscing on legit things that happened between us. Talked about how much we love eachother. And I just kept looking down. I couldn’t look at her. And then we were laughing about stupid little things. Then I woke up and was like… Tf? That made no sense.

I had a random ass dream last night,

So I was talking to one person but it was technically three different people. That one person kept changing physically. Anyways, the first person was Melanie. Me and Melanie were talking about something important that I can’t remember at the moment. And we were cuddling and I was kissing up on her. Then Melanie changed into Rayne. And it was supposedly a daily thing for me to take Rayne to her dads work place. Me and Rayne were in this sketchy ass truck, and we were talking about what we would do if we tried to get it in. And like… shit… went… down. I was kissing on her neck, back, basically just everywhere. I was just feeling up on this girl. Unf, boobies. And like I ate her out, and she loved it. Moaned, bit her lip and everything. When we were done, Rayne wanted to cuddle. Then Rayne changed into Alyna. Me and Alyna were walking in the halls of her dads work place. And Alyna decided she wanted to take off her bra. And thought that was okay to do in a public place. I asked her what the fuck she was doing, lol. Alyna was wearing my track shirt which, in reality, I was wearing. But that’s all she was wearing. Alyna was nippin. And like she had like perfect nipples. Honestly, everyone in my dream had a perfect body… yum. Anyways, Alyna was talking about how college guys don’t know how to eat out… Then Alyna’s dad asked me if I was doing Alyna good and asked how I was and blah blah blah. Lmao, then I guess I woke up. I can understand why I dreamt of Melanie and Alyna, because I talked to Melanie that night and I was thinking about Alyna before I went to sleep. But Rayne… she was like the most randomest person I can dream of everrrr. And she got the main scene! Holy shit.
Oh well, all the people in my dream are gorgeoussss. I’m not complaining. *shrugs*

When I’m sick, that’s when I tend to sleep a lot. Last night a bunch of people were calling and texting me. But, I wanted to lay in bed and think. I want to talk about these 2 dreams I had a couple days back.
The first dream was the night before I didn’t text her for a day. I had a dream she told me not to text her. So I didn’t.
The next dream I had, I cried a lot. Woke up sobbing. I had a dream she walked away. Didn’t even look back. Just walked away. Funny thing to is that it basically happened.
I felt this coming. But I didn’t do anything about it. Because she told me once that she wasn’t like Clueless. But now she is. Because she gave up. Doesn’t want anything to do with me. Doesn’t like me. Doesn’t fucking understand. Even if she doesn’t talk to me… I’m still going to love her. I mean even when me and Clueless didn’t talk… It took me a year to get over her. So basically, not talking to me isn’t going to help. I’m just mad. I mean I am sad. But I’m more mad. Whatever she said hurt so much. But I guess I needed to hear it. She made me read something. And she said she feels bad that she hurt me. But she said I wasn’t really there. That I wasn’t really a friend. That talking to her became a chore. If I was uninterested in talking to you, I wouldn’t even bother trying. Yeah, I’m busy sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I’m never available. I just have bad timing. Anyways, I really don’t know what to say to why you said. I feel like I’m not even supposed to reply. I want to. But I feel like I shouldn’t. I was going to give you a month. You came back in a day. I don’t know what to do.